SRESS!

STRESS: BODY'S NATURAL RESPONSE TO STIMULI:

Deadlines, traffic, long queues, noise, financial pressure, family worries, health concerns. We're all familiar with these common stresses of modern living and know it's important to relax. But what exactly is stress? And how does one relax? Simply put, stress is the body's natural response to environmental & social stimuli. As external conditions change, body's internal systems react to allow you to adapt to those changes & survive. These internal reactions are often called the "fight or flight response".

You're sitting in your most comfortable chair, engrossed in a novel when you hear a strange noise. Your senses come to attention. Where is that noise coming from? What is it? Your muscles tense, your heart is pounding, and you begin to perspire. You try to quiet your heavy breathing and notice that you're gripping that novel like a weapon, ready to strike out. Should you fight or run & hide? 

The fight or flight response is nature's way of protecting you in times of danger. That same response also helps you to meet challenges and achieve goals ( for example, some tension before the "big game" helps a team by preparing mentally & physically to reach peak performance).The problem comes when the stress is chronic & unrelieved. Your body is constantly on alert, and the protective changes brought on by stress can have harmful effect on your mental & physical well-being, and even make you sick.

PHYSICAL CHANGES CAUSED BY STRESS:

When your brain perceives a stress situation, it alerts the nerve centres in the spinal cord and the pituitary gland. The sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves stimulate your organs, and the pituitary gland signals the adrenal gland to produce adrenaline. The result:

• Heart rate increases and blood pressure rises.
• Respiration rate increases as oxygen consumption rises.
• Adrenaline, other hormones, and fatty acids are released into the bloodstream.
• The liver releases stored sugar.
• The muscles tense, particularly thighs, hips, back, shoulders, arms, and face.
• Blood flow to the digestive organs and extremities is constricted.
• Blood flow to the brain & major muscles increases.
• The body perspires to cool itself, since increased metabolism creates heat.

EFFECTS OF LONG-TERM STRESS:

Every day your body reacts to 20 to 30 short-term stresses. Usually, there's time to recover in between, but sometimes these minor stresses are unrelenting. Other stresses (the illness of a relative, divorce, or worries about your career) may stay with you over long periods of time. When stress accumulates, your body and emotions feel the strain. Eventually, the brain's stimulation threshold actually drops, and even minor stresses cause big physical reaction.

Doctors recognize a definite link between stress and heart disease, respiratory conditions like asthma, intestinal problems, and menstrual difficulties. Common headaches and migraines can be brought on or worsened by stress. Stress can also aggravate existing health problems. For example, it often exaggerates the symptoms of multiple sclerosis and diabetes. Emotional problems like anxiety and depression are frequently stress-related. Evidence is growing that chronic stress wears down the immune system and increases your chance of getting sick. The constant presence of stress hormones in the bloodstream blunts the response of lymphocytes, weakening the body's ability to combat diseases.

HOW EXERCISE RELIEVES STRESS:

Stretching, moving, and lifting provide immediate relief from the physical symptoms of stress in several ways:

• Stretching and moving relax tense muscles.
• Exercise uses up the excess hormones, sugar, and fatty acids dumped into the bloodstream by the flight or fight response.
• During exercise, the body produces endorphins, neuroinhibitors that calm the stress response and create a peaceful, euphoric state (the "runner's high").
• Relaxation gained through exercise lasts many hours after the workout session.
• People who exercise and play sports are better at finding ways to relax and are more able to relax under pressure.

SPECIAL PROGRAMMES:

Try taking an exercise break instead of a coffee break at work. Include some exercise (even just a stroll) in your lunch hour. You'll find that some stretching and moving are much more refreshing, and ultimately more healthful, than ingesting caffeine and sugar! If you can exercise to relieve the physical and emotional symptoms of stress as they arise, you'll be calmer, more alert, and more comfortable, and you'll have less accumulated stress at the end of the day.

GOOD STRESS/BAD STRESS:

Physical challenges like lifting weights or playing a tough game of tennis allow you to feel the stress reaction in your body and recognize it. Often in stressful situations, when your mind is absorbed by the problems at hand, you may not notice the reactions in your body- like higher blood pressure, faster heart rate, and tension in the muscles. But during exercise you're more attuned to your body. Once you're familiar with how your body reacts to stress during exercise, it's easier to recognize in everyday stress situations. And then you can take control and do something about it. Remember, the flight or fight response is your body's way of protecting you- it's how you manage the response that makes it beneficial or harmful.

Stress experts agree that how you perceive a stressful situation and your characteristic emotional reaction often determine how will your body copes with the stress response. If you see new situations as an interesting challenge, the stress response stays at an appropriate level and can aid you in meeting that challenge. If, however, new situations make you feel uncertain, doubtful, and out of control, physical stress responses are extreme and put the body on "full alert" many times a day, often with no relief. Exercise can improve your ability to cope with stress by giving you more self-confidence and a better self-image. The physical strength and courage you develop through exercise will carry over into your everyday life.

HOW TO EXERCISE:

Of course, how relaxing it is to exercise depends on your attitude. If you approach your workouts like a competition or a chore, they'll just increase your stress. As researcher Dr. John Yacenda says, "If you go out and run to 'work off' tension, but the work of 'working off' the tension exceeds the pleasure of running, you are not inducing relaxation." Exercise should, above all, be fun! By setting exercise goals that are attainable, you'll experience real success and personal fulfillment.

Exercising at a gym or with friends can provide relaxed social interaction and encouragement. Working out with others relieves the feelings of isolation that so often accompany stress. Enjoyment and laughter are proven stress busters!

ડાયાબિટીસમાં પગમાં થતાં રોગો

• પગના નખમાં ફૂગનો ચેપ (Onychonychia)
• પગના અંગૂઠા તથા આંગળીઓનો આકાર બદલાવો અને સાંધામાં જટિલતા આવવી (Hammer toe, crowding of toes, bunion toe)
• પગની આંગળીઓના ટેરવાં કે તળિયામાં કણી અથવા કપાસી થવી (Corn & Calluses)
• પગના તળિયાની ચામડી સુકી થઈ જવી તથા તેમાં ચીરા પડવા (Fissures)
• પગની આંગળીઓ વચ્ચેની જગ્યા ફોગાઈ જવી તથા ફૂગનો ચેપ લાગવો (Web space maceration)
• પગની બન્ને કમાન સપાટ થઈ જવી (Flat Foot)
• પગની અંદરની કમાન વધુ ઘેરી બનવી તથા તળિયાના હાડકા ઉપસી આવવા (High Arched Foot)
• પગના અગ્રભાગમાં ચાંદુ પડવું/ ચેપ લાગવો/ ન રૂઝાતો ઘા પડવો ( Fore Foot Ulceration/ Infection)
• પગના મધ્યભાગમાં ચાંદુ પડવું/ ચેપ લાગવો/ ન રૂઝાતો ઘા પડવો ( Mid Foot Ulceration/ Infection)
• પગની એડીના ભાગમાં ચાંદુ પડવું/ ચેપ લાગવો/ ન રૂઝાતો ઘા પડવો ( Hind Foot Ulceration/ Infection)
• ચેપ (Infection) અથવા લોહીના અપૂરતા ભ્રમણ (vasculopathy) ના લીધે પગ કાળો પડવો(Gangrene)
• પગના અગ્ર તથા મધ્યભાગમાંના હાડકાનો ભૂકો થવો (Destruction) / હાડકા ગળી જવા(Resorption) / સાંધા છૂટા પડી જવા / પગના આકારમાં સંપૂર્ણ બદલાવ થઈ જવો (Charcot's Foot)

વિશ્વમાં દર ૩૦ સેકન્ડે કોઈક ને કોઈક વ્યક્તિ ડાયાબિટીસને લીધે તેનો પગ ગુમાવે છે.વિશ્વભરમાં થતા પગ કપાવવાના કુલ ઓપરેશનમાં ૭૦% થી વધુ ડાયાબિટીસને લીધે થાય છે.

GOD worship doesn't mean spirituality!

I believe that almost anyone who is seriously involved in any church/temple will recognize that churchgoing is not synonymous with personal spirituality. There are some people who get so busy in GOD worship & projects that they become insensitive to the pressing human needs that surround them, contradicting the very percepts they profess to believe deeply. There are others who visit the church less frequently or not at all but whose attitudes & behaviour reflect a more genuine centering in the principles of the basic religious ethic.Having participated throughout my life in organized church & community service groups, I have found that attending church does not necessarily mean living the principles taught in those meetings. You can be active in a church but inactive in its gospel(message).

In the church-centered life, image or appearance can become a person's dominant consideration, leading to hypocrisy that undermines personal security & intrinsic worth. Guidance comes from a social conscience, and the church-centered person tend to label others artificially in terms of "active","inactive","liberal","orthodox" or "conservative". Because the church is a formal organization made up of policies, programs, practices & people, it cannot by itself give a person any deep, permanent security or sense of intrinsic worth. Living the principles taught by the church can do this, but the organization alone cannot.Nor can the church give a person a constant sense of guidance.Church-centered people often tend to live in compartments, acting & thinking & feeling in certain ways on the Holy days & in totally different ways on other days. Such a lack of wholeness or unity or integrity is a further threat to security, creating the need for increased labeling & self-justifying. 

Seeing the church as an end rather than as a means to an end undermines a person's wisdom & a sense of balance. Although the church claims to teach people about the source of power, it does not claim to be that power itself. It claims to be one vehicle through which the divine power can be channeled into man's nature.

[ From " The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.]

Begin with the end in mind

[From, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.]

In your mind's eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel parking the car & getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers & soft organ music. You see the faces of friends & family as you pass along the way. 

You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down the front of the room & look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honour you, to express feelings of love & appreciation for your life.

As you take a seat & wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate & also extended- children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from some religious or community organization where you have been involved in service. 

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you & your life? What kind of husband, wife, father or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you like them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

If you carefully consider what you wanted to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success. It may be very different from the definition you thought you had in your mind. Perhaps fame, achievement, money or some of the other things we strive for are not even part of the right wall.

How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, & keeping that picture in mind, we manage each day to be and to do what really matters the most. If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster. We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind. Remember, when you begin with the end in mind, you gain a different perspective. One man asked another on the death of a mutual friend," How much did he leave?" His friend responded," He left it all."

તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!

વિદ્યા આવે અને વિનય ન વિસરાય....
તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!
ધન આવે અને ધર્મ ન વિસરાય....
તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!
સત્તા મળે અને સૌજન્ય ન વિસરાય....
તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!
સિધ્ધિ મળે પણ સદાચાર ન વિસરાય....
તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!
સમૃધ્ધિ મળે પણ સદવર્તન ન વિસરાય....
તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!
કુશળતા આવે પણ સમજણ ન વિસરાય....
તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!
જોબન આવે પણ સંયમ ન વિસરાય....
તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે!
એટલે કે, પ્રત્યેક સ્થિતિમાં આંતરિક પવિત્રતા, નિરાભિમાનિતા, નમ્રતા અને ઈમાનદારી હેમખેમ રાખી શકો તો સમજવું કે તમારી ઉપર ઈશ્વરકૃપા છે! અને આ જ જીવન જીવવાની સર્વશ્રેષ્ઠ રીત છે!

ચાલો, હવે કંઈક "મેજીક" કરીએ!

ખૂબ ભણીને, ખૂબ ગણીને, મહેનત અપરંપાર કરીને
નામ કમાયા, દામ કમાયા, માન અને અકરામ કમાયા
કામ, દામ ને નામ બધાથી આજ ઘડી જરા અળગાં થઈએ.
યાર-દોસ્ત સૌ ભેગાં થઈને ચાલો, હવે કંઈક "મેજીક" કરીએ!
પેટભરીને ખાતી વખતે, સડકની કોરથી જાતી વખતે,
ભૂખ્યાં-ગંદા લોકને જોઈ સૂગથી નાક દબાતી વખતે;
કર્યો વિચાર આ જઠરાગ્નિને શી રીતે અમે શાતા દઈએ?
યાર-દોસ્ત સૌ ભેગાં થઈને ચાલો, હવે કંઈક "મેજીક" કરીએ!
શિયાળામાં રજાઈ-ગોદડાં, ઉનાળામાં એ.સી.-પંખા,
ચોમાસે રેઈનકોટ ને છત્રી વગર રહે જે બારેમાસ;
એ રાંક-ઉઘાડાં ત્રસ્ત બદનને આજ ઓઢણું ઓઢાડી દઈએ.
યાર-દોસ્ત સૌ ભેગાં થઈને ચાલો, હવે કંઈક "મેજીક" કરીએ!
આપણાં બાળને સારું શિક્ષણ; ટી.વી., ફિલ્મ ને વિડીયોગેમ
ને ગરીબના બાળ બિચારાં કરે મજૂરી એવું કેમ?
માયૂસ, મજબૂર, માસૂમ ચહેરા પર આજ સ્મિતનું લીંપણ કરીએ.
યાર-દોસ્ત સૌ ભેગાં થઈને ચાલો, હવે કંઈક "મેજીક" કરીએ!
ઘર-ઓફિસ ને કાર હશે, પરિવાર પ્રતિ દરકાર હશે
જીવનમાં પણ ડગલે-પગલે ઝીલવાં પડતાં પડકાર હશે
પણ જે સમાજ પાસે બહુ લીધું આજ તેને જરા અર્પણ કરીએ.
યાર-દોસ્ત સૌ ભેગાં થઈને ચાલો, હવે કંઈક "મેજીક" કરીએ!
એક દિ' આ જીવન મુરઝાશે, બધું અહીંનું અહીંયા રહી જાશે;
પણ સત્કર્મોની મહેક નિરંતર ચહુઓર પાવન ફેલાશે!
એક બીજ વાવીને આજે કાલને કાજે છાયા કરીએ.
યાર-દોસ્ત સૌ ભેગાં થઈને ચાલો, હવે કંઈક "મેજીક" કરીએ!
-મોહિત શાહ (૬/૪/૦૯)

This poem I have written on the occasion of starting our charitable trust- "The MAJIC Foundation". The name MAJIC comes from the initials of the names of the six of friends involved in forming the trust namely Mohit, Manish Patel, Manish Joshi, Alpesh, Jignesh & Chintan. I stands for Ishwar- the God who also happens to be our partner in our noble work! All of us are doctors & want to serve the needy by the means of this foundation. The caption of our foundation- The MAJIC Mantra- is: "Together, we can create MAJIC!" Above poem is the reflection of our feelings & our intentions to help the society in the best possible way by the means of our foundation. Hopefully we will be able to fulfill our noble goal in future. May God bless the MAJIC!

Reducing Dietary Sodium(salt) Intake

[Adapted by the World Medical Association(WMA) General Assembly, Seoul, South Korea, October 2008]

Cardiovascular diseases(CVD) remain a leading cause of mortality throughout the world. Risk factors include high blood cholesterol, hypertension, smoking, physical inactivity, obesity and diabetes. These risk factors are largely preventable and modifiable.

Globally, about 25% of all deaths from CVD are due to hypertension. This figure may underestimate the true impact of the elevated blood pressure since the blood pressure cardiovascular risk continuum begins at 115/75 mm Hg. There is overwhelming evidence that excessive sodium intake is a risk factor for the development or worsening of hypertension and it may also be an independent risk factor for CVD as well as all-cause mortality.

Substantial overall benefits can accrue from even small reductions in the population's blood pressure. Depending upon an individual's salt sensitivity, sodium may cause great damage to both normotensive and hypertensive populations. Therefore, populationwide efforts to reduce dietary sodium intake are a cost-effective way to reduce overall hypertension levels and subsequent cardiovascular disease.

In acculturated populations, the level of blood pressure, the incremental rise in blood pressure with age and the prevalence of hypertension are related to salt intake. Observational studies and randomized controlled trials document a clear and consistent effect of salt consumption on increased blood pressure. Blood pressure is also affected by other foods and nutrients and reduced salt intake should be only one component of a comprehensive strategy to lower blood pressure. Increasing physical activity, consuming a diet high in fruits and vegetables and low in saturated and total fats, maintenance of ideal body weight and moderation of alcohol intake are also recommended life style approaches to preventing and managing hypertension and reducing its impact on cardiovascular disease.

WHO recommends that average daily sodium consumption in adults should be less than 2000mg (5 g salt). Epidemiologic evidence, including the marked reduction of either hypertension or of a progressive rise in blood pressure with advancing age in populations with an average sodium ingestion less than 1500mg (3.8 mg salt) per day, supports the concept of such a threshold, above which the risk of the harmful cardiovascular disease consequences begin to increase. The world's population consumes 2300-4600 mg of sodium (5.8 g-11.5 g salt) per day per 2000 calories. In developed countries, it is estimated that 75% to 80% of the daily intake of sodium comes from processed foods and foods that are prepared outside of the home (e.g. fast food or restaurant meals). Therefore, any meaningful strategy to reduce population salt intake must rely on food manufacturers and preparers to reduce the amount added during preparation as well as on nutritional education programmes. The largest impact in sodium in the food supply of developed countries may derive from the stepwise lowering of sodium in foods that are most commonly eaten and are large contributors to sodium intake. In less developed countries, reductions in sodium are more likely to be achieved by adding less salt during cooking inside the home.

[Courtesy:JIMA, VOL 107, NO. 3, MARCH 2009, PAGE 185]

10 Tips to Stay Fit

1. Diet: Healthy, nutritious, balanced diet high in proteins, fibres, vitamins & minerals but low in fats, carbohydrates, salt & spices.
2. Sleep: 6-8 hours of peaceful deep sleep is necessary to recharge our body. A mini-nap of 15-20 minutes in day time is also welcome.
3. Physical Activity: Moderate to sternous exercise for 40-60 min. daily for at least 5 days a week is must to keep your body fit. Ideal exercise package should incorporate aerobics( cycling, swimming, jogging etc.), strength training( weight lifting, push ups) & reflex training( yogasans, pranayams etc.).
4. Peace of Mind: Don't let your mental peace shatter for anything whatsoever because a healthy body requires first & foremost a healthy mind. Keep your mind always cool.
5. Positive Attitude: Hope for a positive outcome in every aspect of life. Keep yourself prepared for the worst but hope always for the best. That's positive attitude!
6. Be Thankful: Have thankfulness for everything you have & also for people around you who help you. It gives such ultimate joy to that person as well as yourself which gives your life a sense of worth.
7. Plan your work: Always plan your work in advance to avoid deadline pressure. Make a priority list for your plans. Have a to-do list for daily, weekly, monthly & yearly projects. Also plan for future needs like investments, child education & marriage, retirement, illnesses etc.
8. Control your Instincts: Don't let your instincts rule your intelligence. Physical instincts like appetite, bowel, micturition, sleep, sex etc. should not be suppressed while emotional instincts like fear, jealousy, anger, greed, grief etc. should always be kept checked.
9. Avoid Addiction: Addictions like smoking, tobacco, alcohol, drugs etc. have a deleterious effect on our health & are always to be avoided.
10. Health awareness: We should keep ourselves up to date regarding our health status. The best way to screen out your health status is having an annual body check up regularly. Avoid self-medication as far as possible. If you are on any medication for some illness, be regular in taking medicines & never stop medicines without doctor's consultation. Get yourself periodically checked by your consultant to know the status of your disease. Don't play the game of your health without knowing the rule. If you break a rule, you're out & there is no second chance here!

તો તને આવીને મળાય પ્રભુ!

હોમવર્ક વહેલું પૂરું થાય પ્રભુ
તો તને આવીને મળાય પ્રભુ!
તેં ય મસ્તી તો બહુ કરેલી, નહિ?
કેમ મારાથી ના કરાય, પ્રભુ?
આ શું ટપટપથી રોજ ના'વાનું?
પે'લા વરસાદમાં નવાય, પ્રભુ?
આખી દુનિયાને તું રમાડે છે
મારે દહીં-દુધમાં રમાય, પ્રભુ?
રોજ રમીએ અમે એ મેદાને
કેમ મંદિર નવું ચણાય, પ્રભુ?
મમ્મી-પપ્પા તો રોજ ઝઘડે છે
તારાથી એને ના વઢાય, પ્રભુ?
બળથી બાળક તને જો વંદે તો
બાળ મજદૂરી ના ગણાય, પ્રભુ?
-પ્રણવ પંડ્યા

On my birthday-જીવાય છે જિંદગી!

જીવાય છે જિંદગી
પળ-પળ નિરંતર વહી જાય છે જિંદગી,
કોઈ ન જાણે ક્યાં જાય છે જિંદગી.
સુખ-દુઃખમાં કદી અટવાય છે જિંદગી,
તો ભાર તળે કદી કચડાય છે જિંદગી.
હતાશ થઈને જ્યારે પછડાય છે જિંદગી,
ત્યારે પડીને પાછી ઊભી થાય છે જિંદગી.
સંજોગોના રણમાં જો ખોવાય છે જિંદગી,
તો ફરી કોઈ ક્ષણમાં મળી જાય છે જિંદગી.
સ્વાર્થના સમીકરણોથી જો ગૂંચવાય છે જિંદગી,
તો પ્રેમાળ પ્રયાસોથી ઉકેલાય છે જિંદગી.
જ્યારે નિરર્થક વીતી જાય છે જિંદગી,
ત્યારે અંતિમ પળે પસ્તાય છે જિંદગી.
સૌની આ જગમાં પૂરી થાય છે જિંદગી,
છતાં કોઈની યાદોમાં સચવાય છે જિંદગી.
જેવી છે તેવી જ્યાં સ્વીકારાય છે જિંદગી,
ત્યાંજ સાચી રીતે સમજાય છે જિંદગી.
એકલાં જ તખ્તા પર ભજવાય છે જિંદગી,
જો સાથે હો તમે તો ઉજવાય છે જિંદગી.
મને તારી આંખોમાં દેખાય છે જિંદગી,
શું તને મારી છાતીમાં સંભળાય છે જિંદગી?
એવું તો નહીં કહું કે બસ જાય છે જિંદગી,
તમારા થકી તો જિવાય છે જિંદગી!
-મોહિત શાહ (૧૭-૦૩-૨૦૦૯)

Pedal Picnic

Sense of achievement or happiness doesn't necessarily comes out of something extraordinary every time. Sometimes ordinary looking things or events give us such joy & excitement which we may not be able to get otherwise. It may seem not so special for others but for those involved , it becomes a memorable moment of ultimate joy! I had one such experience last Sunday. I've been going for cycling as part of my work out daily morning along with my companion-Dinesh Motwani- formerly my patient but now a friend, thanks to cycling. We go 5 kms. up & down amounting to a total of 10 kms. at a stretch. It takes about 45 mins. We were planning to go to Gandhinagar for quite some time. Infocity is about 10 kms. from Motera. That means we had to go double the distance we daily travel. After a couple of lapses, we finally decided to have a go last Sunday. One of my closest friends, Dr. Manish Joshi would also join us. He would come on Dinesh's son's cycle. Oiling & air-pressure check was done a couple of days before to avoid mishap on the final day. Water-bottles were kept in refrigerator for cooling on previous night. Alarm was set at 5:30 a.m. We had scheduled to set at 6 a.m. sharp. I used to get up so early a couple of years back when I was learning swimming. We were in bed on time hoping for our smooth journey next morning. But whenever you are up to something, nature tests your courage by means of unexpected occurrences. At midnight, an emergency patient came which disturbed my sleep. Still, next morning we were ready on time & then came the SMS from Manish that someone in his relation had died & all his elders were heading for rituals right then. So he would be a little late. He came at 6:30 a.m. & we hurriedly went to Dinesh's house only to find that one of the cycles was having a flat tyre. 6:30 in the morning, 3 men ready for an extended cycle ride are now one cycle short. Dinesh went in search of an another cycle but we were apprehensive because the clock was ticking & we had 20 kms. ride pending ahead of us. We had to come before 9'o clock as it would get very hot after that on the summer day of March. But the real issue was, would he be able to fetch a cycle or we would have to cancel our trip? But he did manage to get a cycle of one of the security guards. When he came to us, we were not sure whether that cycle would run intact for 20 kms. It was a big black cycle generally used by milkmen or labourers & was looking in the worst imaginable condition. But we were left with no option & off we went with all our guts for our ride at 6:45 a.m. The atmosphere was pleasant, especially due to lush green plantation around the highway. It's amazing that when you have a good company, time & distance pass just like a flash. We reached Infocity after 45 mins. & weren't feeling tired yet. Einstein's theory of relativity was working with us. We were surprised that how easily we reached our destination which we feared would be tough for us. We took rest, set on the lawn & had Nero- the refreshing juice made out of palm or dates. We started our return ride at 7:45a.m. & we were at Motera around 8:30 a.m. We had "Navkaarshi"- morning breakfast- at Merudham Jain Tirth which comes on the way from Koba to Motera. It was like "an icing on the cake" for our ride to end with such a delicious & nutritious breakfast. We were very much satisfied, thrilled & happy. Thus, the journey which started with a couple of jerks, ended smoothly with a sense of joy & achievement. In fact, we felt that it tested our dedication, commitment & courage. In a way it was a test of our character & attitude. But in the end, we emerged victorious. This victory may not seem that much important for others but for us it was an event to cherish & remember. In fact, we are planning to go for such long trips on regular basis. This trip taught us an important lesson that," Obstacles may set you back, but they cannot prevent yourself from coming back. You may have to step back in life, only to take a big jump to overcome the problem."

"રસ્તો નહીં જડે તો રસ્તો કરી જવાના,

થોડા અમે મૂંઝાઈ મનમાં, મરી જવાના ?
એક આત્મબળ અમારું દુઃખ માત્રની દવા છે,

હર જખ્મને નજરથી ટાંકા ભરી જવાના !
સમજો છો શું અમને? સ્વયં પ્રકાશ છીએ !

દીપક નથી અમે કે ઠાર્યા ઠરી જવાના !
અય કાળ, કંઈ નથી ભય, તું થાય તે કરી લે;

ઈશ્વર સમો ધણી છે, થોડા ડરી જવાના ?"
- અમૃત ઘાયલ

Real Happiness

Doctor: What's your age Manjuben?
Manjuben: 53years.
Doctor: But you look elder than that! Moreover, it appears from your face that you're very sad. What's your problem?
Manjuben: You're right doctor. I'm very sad. I feel emptiness in my life. Loneliness is killing me. I've lost interest in my life. My life is miserable.
Doctor: Since how long you are feeling like this? Or in other words, when were you happy last time?
Manjuben(after recalling): When all of us were together in my family. My husband, I & my kids- a daughter & a son.
Doctor: What happened then? Tell me your story from beginning.
Manjuben: I got married before 30 years. My husband was a kind person. We were economically not that sound but he worked hard & our financial situation got better day by day. He used to work for long hours in office while I used to take care of all household matters. Then came the kids & I got busy upbringing them. I used to enjoy preparing foods, sewing clothes, educating & playing for them. I was so happy that I didn't realize how quickly they got young & mature. Then my daughter got married & my son went abroad for studies & ultimately got settled there. A few years back, my husband died & I'm now left alone in my house. Financially there is no problem but there is nothing I feel to live for.
Doctor: But your daughter must be coming to meet you occasionally & you can also go to her house to meet her. You can also think to go with your son if he is willing.
Manjuben: My son often calls me & insists that I should go there but that will be a bigger isolation problem with adustment problem at this age. I've never been outside India in all my life. My daughter used to come frequently to take my care but with her kids growing it is very difficult for her to spare time for me & I alse feel odd to disturb unnecessarily in their life.
Doctor: & other relative or neighbours?
Manjuben: I used to go to meet them to kill time initially but I don't feel right to waste someone's time again & again. Everyone's busy these days. Who has spare time for you everytime?
Doctor: From your story, it seems that you like people & also like to help them.Your feeling of happiness is directly related with the feeling of helping someone. Lack of that feeling makes you sad & purposeless. I've thought a solution for that. One of my friend runs an institution for physically challenged children. He needs a dedicated worker. If you can agree I can suggest your name. You are kind, you like children & above all you enjoy helping someone. I feel that this is the kind of work that will give you such joy, satisfaction & sense of worth that you won't feel emptiness in your life. Rather, your life will have some purpose. I think you're the right person for such kind of work. Just think about it. You can take your time. There is no hurry.
Manjuben(without thinking for a second): I'm ready to take that work. You just ask your friend if I can join from tomorrow.
Doctor: & salary?
Manjuben: Doesn't matter. I'll take whatever they can offer.
Doctor: O.K. Manjuben, I'll see that you can join from tomorrow & let me know how's your experience after a couple of weeks. Best of luck!
Manjuben: Thank you doctor.

( After 15 days)

Manjuben: Hello doctor! How are you?

Doctor: Oh, Manjuben! What a pleasant surprise? You have totally changed! You look younger by 15 years in 15 days! How's your work, bye the way?

Manjuben: Absolutely fine. I went there the next day & understood the work on the very first day. I took the responsibility & started working for kids from the next day. It gave me such a satisfaction & confidence that I felt my life worth something. I found the meaning of my life & also of happiness. It's not in living for self but in living for others.

Doctor: You're quite right. If you can see yourself in true perspective, you can have your real identity. After finding your true self, your happiness depends on the amont of your inner strength you can utilize in your life. More you work on it, the happier you become. This is the key to have real happiness in the life.

Manjuben: I can realize that doctor. Thanks a lot for your advice & help to find me the meaning of my life & happiness.

Doctor: It was my duty. But take these lines with you as you leave,

अपने लिए जीए तो क्या जीए, तू जी अय दिल ज़माने के लिए!

क्यूँ- the poem

क्यूँ ?

(This poem was written for a friend who made some difference in my life. This was written on 27th March,2008 when she was going away from us. It narrates the pain of separation & agony due to attachment with someone whom you don't want to lose. It ends on positive note by deriving power out of happy memories & moments to cherish rather than feeling sad about having to lose someone due to circumstances.)

मैं सोचता हूँ जब जाना ही था तो क्यूँ आए मेरे जीवन में?

आए तो आए पर आ के तुम क्यूँ छाये मेरे मन में?

प्यार-व्यार से दूर रहा था, दर्द से चकनाचूर रहा था

प्यार को छोड़ के, दर्द को भूल के बड़े चैन से जी रहा था।

फ़िर तुम आए, खुशियाँ लाये, वो प्यारभरे दिन लौट आए;

फ़िर बात हुई, मुलाक़ात हुई और यादों की सौगात हुई।

जब तुम छोड़ चले, मुंह मोड़ चले; रिश्ते सारे यूँ तोड़ चले।

प्यारभरे गुल मुर्जाए, ग़म भरे दिन फ़िर आए।

क्या होता गर तुम ना आते, गीत खुशी के तुम ना गाते?

बिना प्यारके ग़म के साथ मैं वैसे भी तो जी ही रहा था;

शायद वो ही अच्छा होता, पर उसमे वो बात न होती

यादों,वादों और बातों की वो सौगाते साथ न होती।

अब तेरे बिन हम जी लेंगे,अश्क का दरिया हम पी लेंगे;

बस मुजसे तुम वादा कर लो, कि तुम मुजको याद करोगे

जब भी आए याद मेरी तो तुम मुजको आवाज़ करोगे।

जैसे तैसे मैं रहे लूँगा, ग़म सारे भी मैं सहे लूँगा;

गर मुजको ये आस रहे, जब तक साँसों में साँस रहे

तुम याद करोगे, बात करोगे, कभी-कभी मुलाकात करोगे।

फ़िर आना जीवनमें तुम्हारा मुजको नहीं तडपायेगा,

साथ गुज़ारा वक्त हमारा,जीना मुजको सीखलायेगा!

-मोहित शाह (२७-३-२००८)

તમે મીરાની જેમ મને મળજો !

આસપાસ, આરપાર, અઢળક ઉભો છું,
તમે પાછા વળીને મને કળજો,
તમે મીરાની જેમ મને મળજો !
ઓઢણીમાં સૂસવાતો રણનો વંટોળ
અને વીરડીમાં જાગ્યું તોફાન,
રણની રેતીમાં કેવું અદકેરું અટવાણું
સળગેલા સૂરજનું વ્હાણ,
કો'કવાર ધોધમાર દોડવાના દિવસોમાં
મંજીરા સાંભળીને વળજો,
તમે મીરાની જેમ મને મળજો !
તમરાંના કાનમાંથી ટપકે છે રાત
અને મૌનનો ચણાયો મોટો મહેલ,
ધૂપસળી જેમ કોણ ઓગળે છે ઓરડે
અને પૂછવાની કોણ કરે પહેલ ?
એકધારો એકતારો છેડે જે રાગ
તેમાં એકપણું ભાળો તો ભળજો,
તમે મીરાની જેમ મને મળજો !
-ભાગ્યેશ જહા

मैंने जीवन देखा, जीवन का गान किया- हरिवंश राय बच्चन

मैं कभी, कहीं पर सफर
खत्म कर देने को तैयार सदा था,
इसमें भी थी क्या मुश्किल ।
चलना ही जिसका काम
रहा हो दुनिया में,
हर एक कदम के ऊपर
है उसकी मंजिल ।
जो कल पर काम उठाता
वो है पछताता,
कल अगर नहीं फ़िर उसकी
किस्मत में आता ।
मैंने कल पर कब आज
भला बलिदान किया,
मैंने जीवन देखा
जीवन का गान किया !

સગડ મળે જો તારા ! -હિતેન આનંદપરા

સગડ મળે જો તારા
હું ઓવારી દઉં તારા પર
પાંપણના પલકારા
સગડ મળે જો તારા
મને કોઇ સમજાવો મારી
સમજણ કાચી પાકી
તને શોધવા માટે કેટલાં
જન્મો લેવા બાકી ?
પતંગિયાના કઈ રીતે હું
ગણી શકું ધબકારા ?
સગડ મળે જો તારા
તળમાં હો કે નભમાં તારા
અગણિત રૂપ અપાર
મારી એકજ ઈચ્છા, તારો
બનું હું વારસદાર
તને વિનંતી કરું છું થોડા
મોકલને અણસારા
સગડ મળે જો તારા

3 wishes u can ask for

'3 wishes you can ask for'

(Topic suggested by Anisha Jain-Shah,U.S.A.)

If anyone, say God, tells me that I can ask for 3 wishes of my life & he will grant those wishes; I will have no hesitation about my choices : The 3 wishes I'll like to fulfill in my life are;

1. Learning formal music ( vocal/instrumental/classical whatever possible)
2. Adopting a girl child ( at the time when I can spend enough time for his upbringing)
3. Doing some kind of charity work ( starting organization or working for such group or individually)

I've put a lot of thought & have analyzed my conscience thoroughly before recognizing my ultimate internal desires. But I doubt whether everyone has this ability to analyze & recognize their inner feelings or conscience. Most of them won't be able to answer this question readily & convincingly & even if they do so, there are all chances that they will end up listing the things they want to possess rather than they desire from deep inside. This is because external factors influences our thinking so much that we forget our instincts & think in the terms of materialistic possessions. However, there is no doubt in my mind that each & every person has some unfulfilled internal desires which can give the meaning to their existence. So, let's go to some distance in this cliche looking interesting subject of " The ultimate wishes of your life".

Everyone has wishes to be fulfilled in life because if you don't wish something, you can't get anything. But there is a huge difference between external & internal wishes. External wishes are desires to get or possess some physical objects or subjects i.e. car,house,girlfriend etc. Internal wishes on the other hand are those which don't come from 'having something you like' but they come from 'doing something you like'. It gives you the feeling of inner satisfaction & eternal pleasure which money can't buy. It comes as a result of some good deeds like performing, achieving, creating, helping, donating, leading & so on. Physical wantings breed more wantings but these noble acts breed contentment, joy & happiness all around. These are the things everyone wants to achieve but due to external influences on our conscience, we restrict ourselves to possessing something rather than searching for our inner desires to achieve real success or excellence in life. Buying a latest music system is possession but learning & performing the music in an achievement which you can't buy. It gives you satisfaction, confidence, joy & sense of achievement which a music system cannot give by any means. So the point is, the wishes of our life should mean those wishes which we want to fulfill but haven't done yet because of our worldly commitments or as a result of our lassitude & complacency or due to lack of self-realization. Be more dedicated to making solid achievements than running after swift but synthetic happiness. Most of us get confused between our demands & our desires. Demands are external needs & desires are internal one. To find out your internal desires, ask yourself some questions like;

• What are the things I always wanted to do when I was young?
• What kind of work gives me a sense of feeling good after doing it?
• What kind of work you appreciate when someone does that?
• How will I like people to remember me after my death?
• What are the things I'll like to do before my death?

There can be many more questions you can ask to yourself. Keep asking them until you find the answers. When you find what are your real desires in life, prioritize your wishes on the basis of their relative importance in your life. Then plan your actions towards achieving the goal of fulfilling top 3 wishes first. This may require both short-term & long-term planning. Everything may not go according to your plan every time but don't stop or step back. Have perseverance over your dream. Life always gives chance to fulfill your dream sooner or later. Have patience & do not allow your wishes to slip out of your mind any single moment. If you haven't find time or opportunity to live your dream in young age, have a go at it at the older age. No age is too late to start living for yourself! Assure yourself that if life gives me due time & opportunity, I will fulfill all my desires before my death. But as we know, life is very uncertain. So sooner is better. Try to spare some time for yourself to work towards your dream. You may be find it difficult to adjust initially due to your commitments but let me assure you that doing the things you always wanted to do are never laborious. Rather, they give you such confidence, pleasure & satisfaction that you get recharged for your routine life. So don't hesitate or be complacent. Just follow your dreams & feel how rewarding it is after fulfilling your desires. You end up living in a whole different world! So hold on to your dreams & they are bound to come true! Then the life is all yours to live happily! Rock on!!!

"इन दिनों दिल मेरा मुजसे ये कहे रहा;

तू ख्वाब सजा, तू जी ले ज़रा ।

है तुजे भी इजाजत तू भी कर ले महोब्बत।

बेरंग थी ये बड़ी ज़िन्दगी कुछ रंग तो भरूं,

मैं अपनी तन्हाई के वास्ते अब कुछ तो करूँ;

गर मिले थोडी फुर्सत खुदसे करले महोब्बत।"

Learning lessons from Mangalore

Learning lessons from Mangalore
By Vir Sanghvi

Most of us will have been encouraged by some of the political responses to the attack on pub-goers in Mangalore. Even Rajnath Singh, not usually perceived as a pillar of the liberal establishment, delivered a ringing condemnation of the assaults and most political parties joined the chorus of disapproval.
The politicians - and many media commentators - based their criticisms of the assault on two separate liberal principles. The first was: nobody can take the law into his or her own hands.
It is legitimate to strongly object to something but quite unacceptable to forego due process and take direct action. The second principle was the traditional liberal one of 'live and let live'.
I may disapprove of what you do but unless your actions directly harm me I have no right to stop you. This principle has been used to argue that even if the lunatics on the fringes of the Sangh parivar found the pubs objectionable, they had no business preventing those who liked the so-called 'pub culture' from enjoying it.
Both principles are strong and well-established and I can see why they have been quoted. They are usually used by politicians and editorial writers to condemn attacks on cinema halls showing Fire, on shops selling Valentine's Day cards, etc.But here's my problem: I think we need to go beyond the standard liberal denunciations of the Mangalore violence because the usual objections seem to me to be entirely inadequate here.The real issues run much deeper. Go to the politicians who have condemned the Mangalore attack, ask them a few significant questions and see what responses you get.
Ask Rajnath Singh, for instance, what he thinks of the so-called 'pub culture'. My guess is that he will say that he disapproves of it entirely because it goes against Indian culture.
Ashok Gehlot has already been asked this question and delivered an attack on 'pub culture'. (Later, when it was pointed out to him that his response came off as toeing the Sangh parivar line, he quickly amended it to say that he was only against alcoholism - but by then, the damage had been done.) Go further. Ask this question of L.K. Advani.Of Lalu Prasad Yadav. Of Mayawati.
My guess is they'll all say the same thing: that going to pubs is against 'Indian culture'. That's my problem with the liberal position that is being used to condemn the Mangalore attacks.
Politicians will say they disapprove of the violence and shed tears over the incident. But they will still support the cause and agenda of the goondas.
This was brought out most clearly in the response of the Karnataka Chief Minister who issued the routine condemnation but then followed it up with a ringing denunciation of the 'pub culture'. He was a liberal, he said.
He did not mind if people went out to eat 'non-veg' (wow!). But it was against our very cultural traditions to go drinking in pubs at night.
My fear is that we will allow the politicians to fool us. Because they appear to making the right condemnatory noises, we do not realise that, in essence, their views are no different from those of the hoodlums, who attacked the pub.
It is only the methods that they are quibbling over. At the root of the against-our-cultural-traditions argument is a specious notion of what culture is.
What the politicians are saying is that culture is static; that it is the sum total of social practices at any given time. Any deviation from those practices represents a dangerous drift away from all the things that make us Indian.
This is so flawed an argument that it is plain silly. What is Indian culture, in this sense, anyway? Is it sati? That was an established practice once upon a time.
Is it untouchability? Is it dowry? Is it beef-eating? (We know that the Vedic Aryans ate beef.) Is it forcing widows to wear white? All of us would agree that none of these things represents Indian culture as we know it.
Yet, there was a time when all these practices were part of the cultural consensus. And deviations from them were vigorously opposed as being alien to our cultural traditions.
The truth is that culture is never static; it changes over time. If the BJP wants us to go back to the roots of ancient Indian culture then where do we stop? At sati? At wearing unstitched clothes? It is entirely legitimate for Yeddyurappa or Gehlot or other politicians to disapprove of bars or of alcohol.
But they have no right to define Indian culture or to claim that it should be frozen in time. They are not the custodians of our culture.
And my guess is that politicians don't even understand what culture is anyway. There is a second, worrying element to the Mangalore attacks that, despite Renuka Chowdhury's agitated response, seems to have passed without much comment from other politicians.
Have you noticed how every time male politicians jump up and down shouting about threats to our culture, the issue nearly always involves the freedom and choices of women? Think about it. When Sharad Yadav is in full flow, it is 'baal-katti' women he objects to.
When M.A. Naqvi protests about TV coverage of 26/11, he complains about women who wear lipstick. When R.R. Patil wants to shut down Bombay's beer bars (as he successfully did), it's not the beer he objects to but the women dancers.
When the Sangh parivar wants to ban Fire, it is because the film shows two women in a lesbian relationship. Nobody objects to the homosexual sub-text of Dostana - hell, they probably identify with it.
Similarly, when Hindu communalists attack the crew of Water, it is because the film shows how badly we treat our widows. Make a film about how badly we treat our adivasis or dalits and nobody will care.
Even moral policing, as we call it, is really about keeping women in check. Why do policemen and political hoodlums crack down on courting couples? Only because they think it is 'immoral' or wrong (or 'against Indian culture') for women to be allowed to display affection with men of their choice.
What angers me the most about the Mangalore attack is that the agenda is not really anti-alcohol or about any concern for India's cultural traditions. It is about controlling women.
The pubs had been going for a while but the hoodlums had never attacked them. When they launched their assault it was directed at the women in the pub.
It was the very presence of women, their exercise of their free choice to drink and their decision to sit with men that so angered the political goondas. All this is more worrying than the simple fact of vigilantes taking the law into their own hands.
Of course it is wrong to do that - as all the politicians have dutifully pointed out. But that's not the real issue.
The crisis within our society is not just about random acts of violent political protest. It is the unspoken agreement between politicians across parties that it is entirely legitimate to deny Indian women the same rights as men; that they cannot have any sexual or romantic choices of their own; and that if they dare enjoy themselves in the way that men do (in a pub, for instance), they will be punished and made to suffer.
The BJP holds forth about intolerance and about how women get a bad deal within the Muslim community. But does it have any right to complain about Talibanisation when members of the extended parivar do much the same thing and BJP Chief Ministers suggest that apart from the violence, they agree with these retrograde positions? These are the questions we need to ask - not just of the BJP, but of all of India's politicians.
Let's not be fobbed off with platitudes about how all violence is bad. Let's get to the core issues: what right do these jokers have to define Indian culture? And why do modern Indian women make our male politicians so insecure? Is it because they are even more inadequate than we realise?.

How beneficial is it to start the child's education at a very early age?

(Topic suggested by Anisha Jain-Shah,VA,U.S.A.)

Introduction:-

As a parent, our prime concern for our children is his education for upon it lies his future in terms of his mental growth, knowledge, financial security, social status & above all our sense of fulfillment as successful parents। Our concern here is,'Should the child's education be started at a very early age of his life? How beneficial or not is it for child's growth & development? Our educators in past, had given real thought of concern regarding this matter. That's why, all over the world, it has been widely accepted that primary education of a child should not be started before the age of 5. This is because these are the years of child's physical,mental & emotional development. His cognitive & intellectual skills are not well-developed till this age. He is trying to adjust in his environment by learning different skills. Moreover, he feels insecure in this world because of lack of understanding of its complexities. He needs constant care, supervision & encouragement throughout this period of growth & development. That's why educators advise that child should be in protective environment until the age of 5, by which his linguistic, analytic, social & emotional skills have developed to some extent. But what we find today is that child is pushed into the pre-school education right from the age of 2, first play-group, then nursery, then K.G. & then primary education. We are in a hurry to get our child educated as early as possible.

The reasons or advantages of early childhood schooling:-

• The amount of information & knowledge is growing day by day & the world has become a global hub. The child needs to learn many things not only to earn his livings but also to become really successful in life. So the parents think that it will be good for the child to start learning as early as possible.
• Access to any kind of information is so easy & so influential because of various means of mass-communication that child automatically tends to learn, whether good or bad, new things faster than their older generations. Then why not to use his skills in education rather wasting them at home. Parents think that their children are smarter enough to take loads of early education.
• The competition in the professional field is so fierce that parents don't want to take chance with their children's education. They try to provide best of the available facilities within their resources. They think that if some one's child is behaving smart after joining pre-school then why shouldn't I be doing the same for my child? They don't want their child to be left behind.
• Because of nuclear families, parents have to fight on dual fronts of earning as well as taking care of their child's study. When both parents are working then problem becomes more serious. Parents tend to get their child admitted in pre-school education groups as early as possible so that they can carry on their career without worrying about child's education.
• As the knowledge & education is getting more & more complex day by day, many of the parents find it difficult to cope with it. They are left with no choice but to get admitted their child in an educational institute as early as possible so that he can learn those things which parents can't teach.
• Parents have no choice right now regarding taking decision about when to start formal education of their child. Our education system is such that if you haven't provided proper pre-school education to your child then you won't be able to get your child admitted anywhere later on. You have to be with the system or you are left out.

Problems or Disadvantages of early childhood schooling:-

• The education system is so commercialized that the basic concept of 'learn while you play' has been forgotten all together.
• The child's important years of growth & development are consumed by his schooling.
• The child hardly finds time to play or to develop his interest in any activity he likes because of starting his education very early.
• Due to lake of physical activity child's physical development suffers at a very early age of his life upon which lies the foundation of his future health.
• Due to the competitive structure of our educational system, child is forced very early into the rat-race for materialistic success.
• Because of performance anxiety, a child may face psychological problems very early in his life. He may succumb to the unnatural & unhealthy pressure created by the heavy loads of the study along with high expectations of parents.
• Because of the misconception that good education means getting good marks in exams, child may not learn any subject thoroughly but he will mug everything from the exam-point of view. This may lead to failure in his professional life because of lack of thorough knowledge, both theoretically as well as practically.

Probable solutions or alternatives for the problem of early schooling:-

1. Let us assume that it is not possible to change the current education system & child has to start learning at a very early age, then we should try to find the solution within the system itself. Competitiveness in studies should be curtailed by changing the pattern of exams. The teachers should be trained to deliver thorough knowledge of the subject & children should be encouraged to be creative,curious & courageous in studies. Parents should be assisted whenever required regarding the problems they might be facing for their children's studies. Schools are supposed to be educational temples not shops.
2. Some revolutionary parent groups have started imparting home education to their children avoiding the need for the child to spend time in the school daily. Here parents are at liberty to select what to teach, when to teach & how to teach. But this system only works when parents are well-educated and capable of dealing with various aspects of education.
3. Starting pre-schooling late (i.e. after age of 4) can be another option. That means the whole educational process of the child gets delayed by a couple of years. The only problem is that child starts earning late by 2 years or so. That, in my opinion, should not be a cause of concern these days because average life expectancy is close to 70 in most parts of the world & parents can bear the cost of studies & loss of income from their children for 2 years more. But if we want to compensate the loss, we can increase the age of retirement by 2 years to balance the equation. That seems to be a more logical solution to me, but it requires a great deal of paradigm shift from policy makers, educationists, educational institutes & parents.

What is the role of the parents in present scenario?:-

• Parents should upgrade their knowledge time and again. They should make themselves versed with the latest of information & technologies which help themselves in dealing with their child's education. Reading & effective use of Internet & mass-media can be of great help for them in this regard. You have to learn many things before you can expect your child to learn something.
• Parents should encourage reading habits in their children right from the beginning. This increases their imagination & creativity along with information & knowledge.
• Children should not be insisted only to focus on their studies. Their syllabus only represents a very small portion of the enormous amount of knowledge available in the world. General knowledge, knowledge of current affairs, sports, cultural activities & value education is as important as studies for success & personality development.
• All curiosities of child must be satisfied with utmost interest even if it takes some time out of your busy schedule. Remember, a curious child dissatisfied may turn into a furious child.
• Child should be allowed to learn from the mistakes. Too much of assistance, supervision & protection hampers his abilities to deal with the problems.
• We should not seek to get social mileage out of child's performance. This creates 'performance anxiety' in child's mind resulting in deteriorated performance despite of natural talent.
• Let the child do whatever he wants, not what you want him to do. Don't try to satisfy your unfulfilled desires by means of your child's achievements.
• Don't force him to excel in everything. Try to find out the areas of his interest by trial & error and encourage him to pursue his path in those areas.
• No two children are identical, not even twins. Every child is unique but not everyone is genius. If some child has some extraordinary skill at a very young age, then not necessarily your child should be able to do the same. If he is really interested, he may start learning the same thing late but still excel in it. Have patience with your child. Let him grow at his pace.
• Don't expect too much out of your child every time. He may mess up with his performance occasionally. Make him realize about his faults & encourage him to fight back. Don't be a critic of your child but be a supporter.
• Enjoy & celebrate his success. Give him due rewards but avoid bribery to get his work done every time.
• Let us not confuse education with the capacity to earn. A person can earn money than a scholar even without formal education. earning & education are independent of each other. The purpose of education is to make a person capable to face the realities of life, to make him use his knowledge for the well-being of the society & to achieve the sense of fulfillment by getting real success in his life without compromising the moral values.
• Lastly, before we can expect anything out of our child, we have to look at ourselves first. Mere education is not going to get him anywhere near the success but it requires good personality & great character to achieve the real success. The child learns all the most important values & virtues of life from his parents, which ultimately become the foundation of his personality & character। One cannot instill these values in child just by telling him to follow but you have to forge those values into your attitude, behaviour & character first so that child can realize their importance। Remember, we are their role models। They will listen everything we say but follow only that what we do. Don't worry about your child not listening to you but remember he is always observing you.

"मासूम बच्चों के हाथों को चाँद सितारे छू लेने दो ;

वर्ना दो किताबें पढ़के तो ये भी हम जैसे हो जायेंगे।"

-निदा फाजली

Gandhiji's view on "Ahinsa"

(From the book, "Mahatma-Life of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi" by D.G.Tendulkar, Vol.2, page 421-423.)

"Some days back a calf having been maimed lay in agony in the ashram. Whatever treatment and nursing was possible was given to it. The surgeon whose advice was sought in the matter declared the case to be past help and past hope. The suffering of the animal was so great that it could not even turn its side without excruciating pain. In these circumstances I felt that humanity demanded that the agony should be ended by ending life itself. The matter was placed before the whole ashram. At the discussion, a worthy neighbour vehemently opposed the idea of killing even to end pain. The ground of his opposition was that one has no right to take life which one cannot create. His argument seemed to me to be pointless here. It would have point, if the taking of life was actuated by self-interest. Finally in all humility but with the clearest of convictions I got in my presence a doctor kindly to administer the calf a quietus by means of a poison injection. The whole thing was over in less than two minutes.I knew that public opinion especially in Ahmedabad would not approve of my action and that it would read nothing but hinsa in it. But I know too that performance of one's duty should be independent of public opinion. I have all along held that one is bound to act according to what to one appears to be right, though it may appear wrong to others. And experience has shown that that is the only correct course. That is why the poet has sung:"The pathway of love is the ordeal of fire, the shriekers turn away from it." The pathway of ahinsa, that is, of love, one has often to tread all alone.

The question may legitimately be put to me: Would I apply to human beings the principle I have enunciated in connexion with the calf? Would I like it to be applied in my own case? My reply is 'Yes'; the same law holds good in both the cases. The law, 'as with one so with all', admits of no exceptions, or the killing of the calf was wrong and violent. In practice, however, we do not cut short the sufferings of our ailing dear ones by death because, as a rule, we have always means at our disposal to help them and they have the capacity to think and decide for themselves. But supposing that in the case of an ailing friend, I am unable to render any aid and recovery is out of the question and the patient is lying in an unconscious state in the throes of agony, then I would not see any hinsa in putting an end to his suffering by death. Just as a surgeon does not commit hinsa but practises the purest ahinsa when he wields his knife, one may find it necessary, under certain imperative circumstances, to go a step further and severe life from the body in the interest of the sufferer. It may be objected that whereas the surgeon performs his operation to save the life of the patient, in the other case we do just the reverse. But on a deeper analysis it will be found that the ultimate object sought to be served in both the cases is the same, namely, to relieve the suffering soul within from pain. In the one case you do it by severing the diseased portion from the body, in the other you do it by severing from the soul the body that has become an instrument of torture to it. In either case it is the relief of the soul from pain that is aimed at, the body without life within being incapable of feeling either pleasure or pain. Other circumstances can be imagined in which not to kill would spell hinsa, while killing would be ahinsa. Suppose, for instance, that I find my daughter, whose wish at the moment I have no means of ascertaining, is threatened with violation and there is no way by which I can save her, to put an end to her life and surrender myself to the fury of the incensed ruffian.

The trouble with our votaries of ahinsa is that they have made of ahinsa a blind fetish and put the greatest obstacle in the way of the spread of true ahinsa in our midst. The current-and, in my opinion, mistaken- view of ahinsa has drugged our conscience and rendered us insensible to a host of other and more insidious forms of hinsa like harsh words, harsh judgements, ill will, anger, spite and lust of cruelty; it has made us forget that there may be far more hinsa in the slow torture of men and animals, the starvation and exploitation to which they are subjected out of selfish greed, the wanton humiliation and oppression of the weak and the killing of their self-respect that we witness all around us today than in mere benevolent taking of life. Does any one doubt for a moment that it would have been far more humane to have summarily put to death those who in the infamous lane of Amritsar were made by their tortures to crawl on their bellies like worms? If anyone desires to retort by saying that these people themselves today feel otherwise, that they are none the worse for crawling, I shall have no hesitation in telling him that he does not know even the elements of ahinsa. There arise occasions in a man's life when it becomes his imperative duty to meet them by laying down his life; not to appreciate this fundamental fact of man's estate is to betray an ignorance of the foundation of ahinsa. For instance, a votary of truth would pray to God to give him death to save him from a life of falsehood, similarly a votary of ahinsa would on bent knees implore his enemy to put him to death rather than humiliate him or make him do things unbecoming the dignity of a human being. As the poet has sung:' The way of the Lord is meant for heroes, not for cowards.' It is the fundamental misconception about the nature and the scope of ahinsa, this confusion about the relative values, that is responsible for our mistaking mere non-killing for ahinsa and for the fearful amount of hinsa that goes on in the name of ahinsa in our country."