Begin with the end in mind

[From, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.]

In your mind's eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel parking the car & getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers & soft organ music. You see the faces of friends & family as you pass along the way. 

You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down the front of the room & look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honour you, to express feelings of love & appreciation for your life.

As you take a seat & wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate & also extended- children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from some religious or community organization where you have been involved in service. 

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you & your life? What kind of husband, wife, father or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you like them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

If you carefully consider what you wanted to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success. It may be very different from the definition you thought you had in your mind. Perhaps fame, achievement, money or some of the other things we strive for are not even part of the right wall.

How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, & keeping that picture in mind, we manage each day to be and to do what really matters the most. If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster. We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind. Remember, when you begin with the end in mind, you gain a different perspective. One man asked another on the death of a mutual friend," How much did he leave?" His friend responded," He left it all."