Best of Funny SMS

• Husband: Kal mere khwab mein ek mast ladki aayi thi! Wah! Kya ladki thi!
  Wife: Akeli aayi hogi!
  Husband: Tumhe kaise pata?
  Wife: Kyun ki uska husband mere sapne me aaya tha!
• Shadi ke mandap me ladka ladki se bola: “Shaadi se pehle mera 101 ladkion ke sath affair tha.” Ladki boli: “Muje pata tha, jab kundaliyan mili hai to character to milenge hi !”
• Girl: Gehre badalon mein teri yaad aati hai, saavan ke aane se teri yaad aati hai, baarish ki bundon mein teri yaad aati hai…
  Boy: bas karo bahot ho gaya. Pata hai tumhara chhata mere paas hai. Kal bhijva dunga.
• Sardarji ne winter mein A/C lagvaya. Kisi ne puchha, “Abhi to sardi hai. A/C kyun lagvaya?” Sardar: “Oye! Meine ulta lagvaya hai. Garam hava andar aur thandi hava bahar…”
• A black cow was the subject of viva in medical exam.
  MBBS student: Sir, this is a cow.
  MD student: Sir, this is a four legged black coloured animal with horns & a tail which gives milk. So it may be a cow or a buffalo.
  DM student: It may be a hypertrophied goat or an atrophied elephant but possibility of cow or buffalo cannot be ruled out…
• Sharabi: Aaj to mein tab tak piyunga jab tak samnewale 3 ped 6 nahi dikhne lage.
  Bar ka Manager: Abe saale, ab bas kar. Samne ek hi ped hai!
• Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?
  Student: H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHgNiHCl(COOH)
  Teacher: What the hell is this?
  Student: Sir, this is the chemical formula of Municipality’s water!
• Best way of answering questions in VIVA: (You should be very fast while answering)
  Q: Name 4 local anaesthetic agents.
  A: Sir, Procaine, Lignocaine, sugarcane & cocaine! ;-)
  Q: Good! Name 4 Beta-blockers.
  A: atenolol,lolamlol,metaprolol,propranolol! :-)
  Q: Very Good! Now name 4 ACE inhibitors.
  A: Sir, captopril, enalapril, marchapril, lisinopril! :-D
• New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of the same position with different women.
• Santa ko exam mein answer nahi aata tha to usne answer mein ///// Aisa kar diya aur likha , "Scratch karo aur answer pao." Jab result aaya to Santa fail ho gaya. Jab usne rechecking mein apni answer sheet dekhi to examiner ne real mein scratch kiya tha aur fir niche likha tha, “Answer not found on scratching, You are Failed- Examiner, Bantasing.”:-D